International Cesarean Awareness Network

 After a long pregnancy with only 10 days to go, Me, Kris & the Doctor decided to go ahead and induce due to Calcium that was building up in the Placenta that could harm the baby & the fact that he was getting "big" so January 20th I went in to the hospital to be induced…they inserted a Cervidil that was suppose to soften my very hardend cervix & it did just that!

I started having contractions almost immediately (I was having contractions and didnt know it when we got there).  The doctor came in the morning of the 21st and examined me, broke my water & turned Kylin into the "right" position…then things went from there.  Around 12pm on the 21st I was dialated to a 4 and 50% effaced…my contractions were very harsh but also very irregular…I got an epidural around 10am that morning just so I could relax and possibly get  Our heart rates to go down. 

Well the doctor wasnt happy with my progression because apparently Kylins head was stuck in my cervix and was swelling because it could not pass through…The doctor said in an hour if it wasnt any better we would have to go c section…so an hour later we were both surprised because the contractions had gotten stronger and become regular…but still no progression in other ways ( i was still dialated to a 4) and Kylins head was continuing to swell…so to the OR we went…Kylin was born at 7 pounds 1 ounce & 21 inches long at 2:26 pm on January 21st!! His head was so swollen it measured 14 inches at birth.  It is amazing being a mommy & he is the most beautiful & perfect angel boy I could have ever asked for!! Kris & I are so proud of what a true blessing he is to our lives!! Love you all & thanks for all the prayers!! Recovery is slow but God is awesome!!  

Update: 3/12/08: Finally through the hard recovery, I am back at work and loving it! I miss Kylin so very much but he is having a blast with the Lady that watches him during the day now & all her little kids that Adore Him!! After everything that I thought could happen bad, happened to me (I ended up getting an infection in an inch of my incision & had to have it cut open again), here I am still amazed at how truly incredible Our God is & how indescribably awesome it is to watch such a Miracle grow & become even more awe inspiring everyday!  I am finally over the worst & feel great…its amazing looking back & realizing all that I did for someone I barely even know, but you know what…he is worth everything & I would do it again in a heartbeat.  It is even more amazing how much you can be in love with someone you have only known for technically 10 months including the pregnancy…I would already give my life for Kylin, he is my little love & my little everything!! Of course I guess him being just like his daddy explains alot of why I might love him so much besides the fact that he is just simply one of the best things to ever happen to me!

It is not easy to be a mom, nor is it very hard! It can be frustrating and yet the most amazing thing at the same time! He can want to be fed every 2 hours & frustrate the living crap out of me but then I look at those gorgeous little eyes & heartbreaking bottom lip quiver when he cries & realize I am his hope, crying is his only way of telling me what is wrong & I have to do something because he needs me & cannot do it alone, thats when I look at him and tell him "You are not in this alone, we are in this together & I Love You So Very Much Kylin."

I also find my self singing just about anything some nights & tickling his neck because for some reason, like his daddy, the sound of my voice & the touch of my finger tips sooths him & makes him feel comfy enough to fall asleep.  The latest hits are "Jesus Loves Me," "When You Say Nothing At All" (seems to fit with babies since they cant talk), "You Light Up My Life," any worship song & humming "Lullaby & Goodnight" because I don’t know the words. It is truly an experience changing this little man though might I add…boys can squirt across the room & Mine is definately known for it!! 

I Love this little boy more than anything, him & his daddy are my world & I would do anything & everything to make their world as wonderful as they have made mine!! I look back at how scared I was to have him & now here he is almost 2 months old…and growing more incredible everyday!  I cannot believe I am a mommy & now I have eternity to spend with a new little love of my life!! It is such a blessing to be a wife to the most incredible Man & a mother to such an awesome little man!!  I sometimes do wish I were still pregnant so I could have cherished it even more & done some things differently…not to mention I wonder now if we had not induced if maybe things would have happened easier for both me & Kylin as in maybe we could have had natural birth rather than c-section because it wouldn’t have been forced!  But I trusted my Doctor & I very much trust him to this day, there was no knowing what could happen & he made the choices he did thinking of me & what was healthiest at the time!! He did a c-section at the perfect time because if we would have waited longer it would have harmed Kylin or even killed him…his head was already 14cm at birth from being so swollen…imagine if we would have waited to see if I could dialate more?!?!?  So Point is…Dr. Joseph Killeen is a hero & a very smart man that I will thank the rest of my life for bringing my little man into this world…no matter how hard the recovery ended up being Dr. Killeen has worked his hardest to make everything easier for me!!  Now I can see why he is head of  Labor & Delivery…He is one heck of a Doctor & I thank God that this world does have Doctors that know their job & do it very well!! on that note:

…even past all the pain they can put you through…

Thank you to Dr. Killeen (OB/GYN), Dr. Hales (Did 3D Ultrasound & Assisted C-Section), Dr. Thornton (Awesome Anesthesiologist & photographer during C-Section), Dr. West (Wound Care Specialist), & all the amazing nurses at Covenant Lakeside Labor & Delivery, Recovery & Post Partum! To do some of the things they have all had to do for me…without questions…no hesitation to sacrifice for me…they are all awesome at what they do!

All I do know is my thoughts & what if’s are all just a smidge of my worries because now here Kylin is growing up more & more everyday & all I can do is sit back and ask God how I deserve to be blessed with such an incredible life so far! Times have been hard on me & here is my fate…a wife & a mother…both of my dreams all together!! How on earth did I deserve this? & as scared as I get looking at Kylin sometimes…I am reminded that God is his true father…and he has it all in control!! Anyway, continue to pray for us as we learn more about parenting everyday!! Pray for Kylin too as he puts up with our frustrations…even just raising your voice makes you feel like a horrible parent!!  I only hope I can become a better mommy with time…he deserves so much!!  So yeah…that is the latest…I could go on & on (yes more than I already did) but that is the majority of my thoughts!!  Thank you all for the Prayers & for how much you all truly mean to our lives!

God Bless & Trust in Him!!