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With a partial placenta abruption at 33 weeks, I knew my chances of VBAC were significantly lowered. I had worked hard to form a birth team who would be truly supportive, and with that peace of mind I went into my induction on Mother’s Day 2019.
Once things picked up I was so triggered by reminders of past trauma that I requested an epidural. Or maybe I yelled for it. I definitely yelled for it. Once it was in I fell asleep. I woke to my water breaking and instant shaking not long after and I remember thinking, this is it. This is TRANSITION. I never made it this far before. We were over the hump and into unknown territory. About 2 hours later my provider checked me and I’ll never forget the look on his face or the little dance he did as he announced, “You are FULLY dilated!”
Pushing was hard. So hard. 4 hours, a chorio infection, and amazing cheering on by my birth team, my girl was born. My face was the first she saw. My hands the first to hold her. My body the first place she laid her head. So much of me was healed in that moment.