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How did I get here? – an Unexpected NICU stay

posted on January 8, 2014 | 2 Comments

This is Rebekah’s story. She is one of our dear co-leaders of ICAN of Huntsville. Although she ended up on a path that she did not want or expect, both a cesarean section and a NICU stay for her baby… She is healing and reaching out to help other women either avoid or navigate some of these same situations. We truly appreciate all you do, Rebekah. Thank you for sharing your story!

-Brianna
________________________________________

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On the day after my due date, I went in to the hospital for an induction. I was overdue. My placenta had expired. Letting my baby “cook” in my womb for any longer was dangerous — that is what my OB had me believe. Because of my fears as a first time mother, I believed her. I arrived at the hospital with hopes that I will soon be holding my baby in my arms.

20 hours later, I found myself on the operating table. Afraid. Shaking. Tolerating pain as they cut me open.

I ran a fever — the nurse said “hundred and six,” which I freaked out because I had never ran a fever as high as 106. Later I found out my fever was only 100.6-101. My baby’s heartbeat jumped up to 185. Fetal tachycardia + maternal fever = chorioamnionitis. A fancy word for infection.

Right after meeting my baby for the first time, my husband escorted her to the NICU. I wish I had known she was headed to the NICU no matter how I delivered. It was after my c-section that I found out that we would not be reunited for longer than I thought.

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I remember seeing my daughter under the heating lamps, hooked up to an IV & different monitors. I was not expecting this. I don’t like surprises. I did all genetic tests available. I wanted to know my baby’s gender. We had her name picked out 5 years ago. I expected to have a healthy, full-term baby. I wrote my birth plan accordingly that she would never be separated from me once she was born. Instead, I find her under intensive care.

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I could not hold my baby until 24 hours after birth when she was transferred to the progressive NICU. I was not there for her first feeding. The nurses went ahead and fed her formula without my knowledge or consent. When I asked about alternatives to formula (because I couldn’t pump enough milk to feed her), the nurse answered “well, babies need cow’s milk.”

It was a good thing I was drugged up on pain meds. I could not think clearly. I felt numb. Had I been more alert, I would have created chaos.

I went to go visit my daughter during “care times” which was set for every 4 hours. If I go at any other time, the nurses shhhhed me. “She was crying so loudly and we finally got her to calm down. Don’t wake her up.” Of course she’s loud. She was a 9 pounder. The other babies are half of her size. She needed to be held. She needed to be rocked. She needed skin to skin. Instead she got a pacifier because I couldn’t be there.

“You better figure out a way for her to sleep better or she’ll have issues with brain development,” said another NICU nurse. I was hurt. How can a hospital, a place for healing, cause me so much pain? I’ve heard from many moms how thankful they are for their NICU nurses for saving their baby’s life. I felt guilty for not feeling the same. I felt guilty for feeling that I could provide better care for my daughter. I was bitter that they had ripped her out of my womb and restricted how much I could love and care for her.

There was nothing wrong with her. She passed all of her tests. No infection. No jaundice. She was a healthy girl.

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I was lucky enough to be discharged with her on the same day. It was a true blessing because had she been there any longer, I have no idea how it would have messed up our breastfeeding relationship or the bonding. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a baby discharged on the same day and walking in the NICU with her car seat was such a great feeling. Other parents congratulated us that our daughter was going home.

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While I felt that delivering at a hospital with a NICU was an ideal situation before having my daughter, I now feel that sometimes too many medical interventions are performed for precaution. Perhaps it could have been life-saving that my daughter received antibiotics soon after birth, but the drugs come with side effects. I had to take her for hearing tests months after to be sure the drugs did not damage her hearing.

I am not sure what I would like to do for my next time or if I will be blessed with a next time. But I do feel that there needs to be change in the local hospitals. I am happy to report that a year later, there are a few changes that have taken place that are better practices for mother and baby.

If I could go back in time, I would like to tell myself a few things.
1. Your due date is not your expiration date. Let your baby decide her birthday.
2. Avoid induction! It increases your chance of a c-section by 50%. C-section recovery is not easy.
3. Ask questions. A fever doesn’t automatically mean c-section. Read more about what could happen during labor and know your options for “what if” situations.

I reached out to start an ICAN chapter in Huntsville because I wanted to see fewer women like me. I struggled with healing from my traumatic birth and I am still recovering. I hope that ICAN’s presence in the area will bring great changes in maternity care and birth practices.

Posted in C-Section | Tagged: Birth, c/s, cesarean, due date, induction, late, NICU, post dates
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2 Comments

  1. L.M. January 12, 2014 5:50 am  Reply

    Thanks for sharing your birth story. My birth story has some similarities with yours. I went for a check up/ultrasound on my last day of 36 weeks. I felt really really weird. My blood pressure was sky high. The doctor came in and ask me what hospital did I want to go to. My choices were Decatur General or Madison Hospital. I chose Madison thinking that it would be closer to Huntsville in case of an emergency for myself or the baby. I never had the thought of NICU in my mind at all. I was monitored over night and had my blood checked a few times. I did not get better. Still had high BP and a very low platelet count. The doctor said I had HELLP syndrome that could potentially cause severe problems for myself and the baby. I was moved to the front of the list for this morning. They started getting me ready at 7:30 and I had a baby boy at 8:06 AM via C Section. I felt ok. I got to see him and then I went to recovery. Some time had passed and my husband along with some doctors came to let me know that I could not hold him, not try to nurse him or anything. He would be on his way to the NICU at HH. He was born on a Thursday morning and I did not get to see or hold him again until late in the afternoon on Saturday. My recovery went well. It just didn’t go as planned. I had some major issues being apart from my new born. I was able to pump and my husband would take my milk to our baby in the NICU. During my pregnancy, the group of hospitals that are connected made some major changes and my doctors delivered at HH until June. My baby was born in August….so that was not a choice for us. What would you suggest for my next pregnancy?

    • Rebekah January 19, 2014 3:33 pm  Reply

      Hi LM! Thank you for your comment! I am so sorry to hear about your experiences with delivery, recovery, and NICU.
      I do not know your full medical history and I am still learning a lot about pregnancy and birth. My suggestion is to find a care provider that you feel completely comfortable. Are you planning a VBAC for your next time around? Do you feel your current provider will consider you a good VBAC candidate? (Most women are good VBAC candidates, according to ACOG guidelines: http://www.acog.org/About_ACOG/News_Room/News_Releases/2010/Ob_Gyns_Issue_Less_Restrictive_VBAC_Guidelines) If not, you may want to start looking and become established as a patient with a new OBGYN.
      I also encourage mothers to request their birth/hospital records so that YOU can read them. We don’t remember everything from our birth and the records can help you jog your memory and understand what truly happened. For example, I was told “failure to progress” after 2 hours at 9cm… But I did not know that at the time I went into my c-section.
      Another thing is to start listing out the things that you did not like about your first birth… I did not like that I wasn’t the first to hold my daughter. I did not like that nurses did not tell me my daughter was headed to the NICU until after the c-section. When you start listing the things that you do not want next time, it helps you define what you are looking for.
      Hope you can join us for an ICAN meeting. We meet every first Thursday of the month and our February meeting topic is birth plans. We look forward to getting to know you!

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