Guest Blog: Cesarean Moms Speak Out!

ICAN of Connecticut chapter leader and blogger Danielle Elwood shares her reflections on hosting a blog radio show  last night in defense of cesarean moms who don’t just want to “have a giggle and get over it.”

The saga began earlier this week with a book review (on Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex: A No-Surrender Advice Book for Naughty Moms) done by Gina, chapter leader from ICAN of DuPage on her blog The Feminist Breeder, and became a full scale war by yesterday afternoon.

It all started with the phrase ‘Consider yourself Lucky C-Section Bitches” because of course in the typical, ignorant, and mythical internet world, we mothers who have had c-sections have great sex lives because our vaginas were never “stretched” out by the birth process. Unfortunately, those who have never had a c-section, such as the author of the above book,  do not understand the issue of sex after a cesarean with problems like adhesions. I personally can say sex before and after my c-sections will never even be on the same page.

This of course offended Gina, who is a cesarean mother who suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after her c-section, along with her husband. Like most of us mom bloggers, she blogged about how offensive she found the comments, and many ICAN moms, and C-section mothers in general chimed in on the blog, left comments and then really it was all left alone.

Until yesterday morning.

“Mominatrix” (author of the book) had a blog talk radio show on sex after a cesarean. Instead of taking a few seconds out of her 30 minute radio show to say sorry for her comment being offensive to the mothers is had hurt, she turned the show into a “get over it” piece to all the mothers she had offended and hurt thus far. Which turned into nearly a full scale riot (especially on twitter where most of us were watching this turn into a train wreck).

I sat in the cue of her radio show for 20 minutes waiting for my call to be answered, and I was ignored. I can’t say I was surprised, though. It was clear there was nothing on that show about being fair to the other side — moms who have had cesareans. In turn, she suggested we all get over it and have a “giggle”.

A giggle? I was sliced open, for no reason, permanently scarred… I fail to see what is so funny about that.

So in response to this radio show, which clearly did not  accurately portray cesarean mothers, I decided to host my own last night.

I called in the troops: ICAN moms, twitter moms, those who were offended by the comments of the radio show, and anyone who supported us mothers in our healing. Myself, Gina, and Desirre (our awesome ICAN President) hosted the show, and took as many callers as our 45 minute show could handle.  Towards the end I was answering calls saying “Oh My God! We only have TWO minutes left!!”

There were so many brave mothers who called in, shared their stories, shared their hurt by the “Mominatrix” comments, and we all supported each other in an amazing way.  Our show was a success, and I wanted to share it with all the ICAN mothers.

I hope to host a show like this again soon!

Listen to the show here:


  1. Dani Arnold January 16, 2010 11:53 am  Reply

    I’ve only just this morning heard about this brouhaha…. and I’m honestly shocked and appalled by the comments …. Have a giggle and get over it?!? ARE they EFFing insane?!?!? As a mom who’s had 3 C/S- one that was a horror story with a spinal that didn’t take on half of her body and who’s surgery was so badly botched up that I coudln’t even lift my new son or walk upright for 9 WEEKS…. I’m am unbelievably offended!! I’ve had a natural home birth too. I’ve experienced sex from both sides of the coin and recuperation (physically and emotionally) from both sides….. which is why I have spent MONTHS fighting the system here in Canada to be “allowed” a TOL with my 5th child (Due anytime soon), and have spent countless hundreds of hours working online to educate and help parents deal with C/S trauma and fighting to raise awareness of the raising Unnecessarian section rates in North America. This woman disgusts me. Thank you for hosting this show- if you ever do another one, I’d love to be involved.
    Dani Arnold-

  2. Naomi January 16, 2010 10:03 pm  Reply

    If only ‘having a giggle’ could solve any problem. It is just mind boggling to think that that would be helpful to anyone other then herself.

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