International Cesarean Awareness Network

Education, Support, & Advocacy for Birth Justice & Healing

Veronica’s HBAC Birth Story

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Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

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(HBAC 20 months after a planned cesarean for frank breech during peak of COVID shelter in place)

Labor started on Tuesday evening after very light contractions since the night before. Surges were 5-7 min apart but slowed overnight to every ten minutes. By Wednesday afternoon my labor shifted to be more “active labor” for another 26 hours. (It all felt active to me). I was in a multi day start and stop labor and I could tell baby wasn’t descending. It was a physical, mental, emotional rollercoaster.

My birth doula came on Tuesday night at midnight. (She was actually a backup doula because my main doula who I had been working with had had a fluke fever within the two weeks prior of birth for one night, so according to the rules with COVID precautions she wasn’t allowed at the birth). Our backup doula had to spend a lot of her time just helping with our toddler because we couldn’t have a specific person in our home for childcare due to COVID as well, and I wanted him at home for the birth and not with another family due to COVID precaution.

On Thursday am, we called the midwives (who we thought we were going to call either of the two nights before but didn’t because labor slowed back down so much.) They arrived at 8:20 am on Thursday April 9. I was given a bag of IV fluids to help me replenish since I’d been going for so long with labor.   The midwives determined that the baby’s head may be a bit posterior with the baby at an LOT position instead of LOA position. We needed to shift him. So while getting the IV, I used a peanut ball and did the exaggerated side lying pose on my right side to turn him. I could feel him moving and contractions were painful in that position but turns out it worked. I had two requested cervical checks that morning but I chose to not be told what my dilation was at either. I wanted to trust my body to know when it was ready to push without having outside guidance telling me and I didn’t want the additional mental challenge of knowing certain numbers of dilation and feeling defeated if they weren’t “high enough” or whatnot.

The marathon I had been running felt like such a mental and emotional challenge when I’d get up to 3-5 minute contractions consistently, thinking I was near the end, but then not…because it wouldn’t stay there. After such a long labor, I mentally wouldn’t be able to hear that I was “only” at a certain dilation. I also had the knowledge that those numbers don’t necessarily correspond to lengths of time to completion. Birth is not a linear process. (This is one of the main reasons I planned for a home birth with midwifery care. I knew my labor and birth wouldn’t be put on a timeline or be forced unnecessary interventions like what happens in the majority of maternal care policies and just the cultural norms.) The mental “mind fuck” of knowing the dilation numbers wasn’t a risk I wanted to take after an already very challenging 2 days of labor at home (physically and mentally).

I came to find out after the fact that at 8:30 am on Thursday I was around 4 cm dilated and sometime around noon I was 9/10 cm and by 2:30 pm I was spontaneously pushing. I remember right before pushing that I told my midwife I wanted to but I was afraid And I don’t think I can labor for ten more labors, and she just replied with “listen to your body.” She didn’t say yes, do it, no, don’t. I had to trust that it was ok and truly just listen in to myself and my power and move past the doubt that I was just in that same start/stop labor as before. Once I started, the midwives started moving much faster in the bedroom prepping all of the materials needed, as I literally was birthing probably in the most inconvenient spot in our bedroom, blocking being able to walk to and from in the room. I could feel him moving down and at some point they said they saw the head and I was able to touch it. I was on all fours with a birth ball, pulling on my husband’s arms, next to the birth tub which we only used a few times during the two day labor.

Baby was born 35 minutes later. It happened quickly and I had my husband held captive on the other side of the birth ball, pulling on him so he couldn’t catch the baby as planned. The student midwife (who was awesome) caught him and pulled him up under me as I sat back to pull him up. They helped us onto the edge of the bed as they were checking him. I birthed the placenta not long afterwards. Our first son was able to join us soon afterwards to meet his little brother.  

So, it was an extremely long labor which gave me a great opportunity for mental strength and a very short, spontaneous pushing phase which taught me full on personal power and trust. I should add, little man also surprised us with a nuchal hand (hand presenting alongside his head as he came out). I am so very grateful to my fantastic midwife team (Michelle Freund, LM and Christina Evans, student midwife) and my extremely loving and supportive husband. The long labor was hard on him too but he never gave up on me or us. He understood my desires for a spontaneous normal birth for my VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and he showed up for all aspects of the prenatal care and supportive role before, during and after labor. I am so proud of the team our family of four has become. I’m so grateful I was able to give birth to my son at home with a normal, spontaneous birth. I planned a homebirth way before COVID hit but I was even more grateful to have planned one when it did. Although it wasn’t without stress, I felt safer from interventions or policies that I didn’t agree with. I now have experience having a son by scheduled cesarean in a hospital with no labor, and a long labor, nuchal hand HBAC. Grateful for the blessings and lessons with each. 

Congratulations, Veronica, and thank you for sharing your story with us!

Shellie’s VBAC Birth Story

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Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

Backstory: My first birth was a c-section due to a failed induction. 46 hours of induced labor and my body failed to progress past 1cm.

For this pregnancy, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. That, and my age (40 years old) made me considered “high risk”. I was still super excited that both my provider and my high risk doctor, all felt that I could certainly try for TOLAC, and go full term, as long as I was closely monitored and there weren’t other more serious complications. They were all super positive about supporting me for a VBAC. 

I kept my GD well controlled with very little insulin and the pregnancy went surprisingly well. At 36 weeks, the doctor was concerned that Baby Z was measuring small on her growth scans and he let me know that if she didn’t start growing they would need to deliver her early- greatly impacting my birth options. At 37 weeks he let me know that he would watch her for one more week and if she stayed below 10th percentile we would deliver early. This means a scheduled c section or induction, but due to my past failed induction and c section I would have to be somewhat dilated to induce. No dilation at all meant c section. I was devastated. I was worried something might be wrong causing her to be so small and was also worried about needing a repeat c section. 

One day after that appointment, Saturday May 22nd, I lost my mucus plug and a few hours later contractions started. These were not Braxton Hicks but I wasn’t certain if this was real labor or prodomol labor. I labored through contractions all night only for them to stop completely the next day. For the rest of the week I had false labor signs almost daily. 

On Friday May 29th we had our final growth scan. Baby Z was measuring in the 4th percentile. She had not grown and was estimated to be about 5 pounds 7 ounces. Dr. Newman said we needed to deliver within 4-5 days. At this time I had hoped I would be dilated somewhat since I had been having contractions all week. To my disappointment my cervix was a steel trap- closed and no sign of opening. So my only option would be a c section at this point. However, Dr. Newman said if I come in, in labor beforehand, they will let me TOLAC and won’t stop me unless there is a further complication. I went home to prepare myself mentally for a c section early the following week. I was sad, disappointed and nervous about surgery. 

On Monday June 1, I was notified that my c section would be Wednesday June 3rd at noon. However that evening contractions started up. I assumed it was false labor again and went to bed. But this was different- they were coming every 20 minutes and getting stronger. By morning they had not gone away. It was my last day working so I labored while I worked on my birthing ball. I walked around the house laboring through conference calls. By 5 pm they were very intense and almost every 7 minutes. At this point hubs and I were debating if I need to plan a hospital trip or if I would make it to my scheduled c section the next morning. When contractions got to every 4-5 minutes and so strong they took my breath away, we left for the hospital. Arriving at 8pm Tuesday June 2nd, I was checked into triage and monitored. Of course because I finally was resting, the contractions slowed some and to my disappointment I was not dilated at all. My doctor was still at the hospital so he moved up my c section to 8 am since I was in pain and I was sent home to labor at home. Told only to come back if the pain was too severe to tolerate, if my water broke or if I started bleeding. 

We came home. I felt defeated. I thought I was truly in active labor. It seemed like it, but again I thought my body was failing to progress. I went to bed but couldn’t sleep as the contractions were every 7-10 minutes and getting worse. At 12:30 I had a big contraction and then GUSH- my water broke- in bed- flood everywhere. I surprisingly jumped up, woke up my husband and waddled to the bathroom. At this point we knew we had to return to the hospital. 

When I arrived the nurses were not surprised to see me. They had a feeling I would be back. I was admitted and was so fortunate that the midwife I saw the most was on duty. She came on practically cheering me on, and had a plan for how I can TOLAC. She just knew I would be able to skip the c section. I still wasn’t sure my body would do this because I was only dilated to 1 cm. 

I labored until almost 4am and then asked for an epidural as the back labor was so bad I couldn’t take it any further. Plus they wanted to start Pitocin to help me progress so they recommended the epidural. This took the edge off but I was still having contractions every few minutes. My entire team was awesome. They came in every 15-20 minutes and changed my positioning to help move things along and get baby positioned well. 

Finally at 8:30am (now past my scheduled c section time) when my nurse came in I let her know I felt I needed to have a bowel movement. They were going to wait to check me until my OB arrived and if I wasn’t progressing we would talk options but my nurse heard how i was breathing and paired with the feeling of needing to use the bathroom, she decided to check dilation again. I was at a 9 1/2. She said- it’s time to have this baby. I was in total shock. I went from a 1-9.5 in about 4.5 hours and was about to have my VBAC. I didn’t believe it. 

I started pushing at 8:45. The doctor arrived right on time. A few pushes later and baby Z came right out at 9:18 am. The cord was wrapped around her ankle which was what was causing the decelerations in labor for her. 

She weighed 5 lbs and 7 ounces and was 16 3/4 inches long. 

I truly believe she was determined to help me avoid that c section. She knew she needed to come out. So on the day of her scheduled c section she was born vaginally on her own terms. Labor was long and hard but overall much easier than the c section I endured previously. 

I am so incredibly grateful to the Premier Care for Women team for their support and encouragement. I am also grateful for the Banner Del Webb L&D nurses for helping me labor and encouraging this VBAC. They all respected my birth wishes while keeping us both safe and constantly providing me with information and choices. Without this amazing team, this VBAC may not have happened.

I feel redeemed – empowered – proud – and am finally recovering from the trauma of my first birth. This birth was so healing and powerful.

Congratulations, Shellie, and thank you for sharing your story!

Andrea’s “Big Baby” VBAC Birth Story

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Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

When I unexpectedly got pregnant with my second child I immediately knew I wanted to try for a VBAC, especially after the traumatic experience of my first labor and birth. It took a lot of work and a lot of educating myself but I built an incredibly supportive birth team and I am so grateful for all of them.

My due date was Sept 1. That day came and went. My induction was scheduled for the evening of Sept 9. I ended up with a total of three membrane sweeps. I struggled with several weeks of prodromal labor and a few false alarms at labor and delivery.

On Sept 6th, after my 3rd sweep, I finally was having consistent contractions getting stronger and closer for longer than an hour and a half at a time. We went to the hospital that night when my contractions were about 6 mins apart. Got there and was 2.5cm and 90% effaced. That morning at my last sweep I was only 1.5 cm 70% effaced. So they had me walk for 30 mins and check again. I did. No change. They wanted to send us home. But I wasn’t convinced we should leave. So I asked them to let us walk again. So we did. When we got back on the monitor my son’s heart rate dropped for THREE MINUTES. It was absolutely horrific. They flipped me on my side. Put an oxygen mask on me. Poked me several times to put in an IV. Checked my cervix. All while I’m laying there bawling and shaking. He recovered. But now we were admitted. I’m so grateful I insisted we stay. 

I ended up laboring for 30+ hours. They gave me Pitocin and after probably about 16 hours, my contractions became too painful and anytime I would get into a position that made them bearable, my son’s heart rate would decelerate. So epidural it was. This anesthesiologist had the hands of an angel. Perfect epidural experience. Thus beginning what I like to call my labor vacation. I got a break from my crazy 2.5 yr old and my day to day. And was surrounded with incredible people (my doula, awesome l&d nurses, my amazing midwife, and my fiancé). My labor was SO FUN. I was respected, informed, and included in every decision that was made. I did stall at 4 cm for probably about 12 hours even after breaking my water.

My midwife gave me another hour to progress before calling for a cesarean. So at this point I was okay with whatever happened. I already had an amazing labor and a much better experience than my first. I had a 30 min conversation with my nurse about my requests and options for surgery. When my midwife checked me, I was 7 cm and fully effaced. Holy crap. So we kept going. I started feeling like I needed to push with my contractions and my doula tried to talk me out of pushing until it was unbearable not to. My midwife came in and checked me. I was almost fully dilated but there was a tiny lip of cervix left so she had me push to see if we could get him past it and we did. So we started pushing. They turned my epidural down a bit. Enough that I wasn’t in pain but that I was able to control my body enough to change positions because I HATED pushing on my back. I pushed for an hour and a half. Throughout that time I would feel for my baby’s head to see how far I had come. Which I never expected I would want to do. His head finally came out, and his cord was wrapped around his neck. When they told me to push again I pushed as hard as I could and he didn’t budge. I told them I couldn’t push anymore. He was stuck and had deceled again. My midwife had to help him out. He was born and I pulled him onto me. But he was born floppy and had to be taken by the NICU team to make sure he was okay and I tore from the assist so I needed stitches. He was with the NICU team for about 30-40 mins before I got him back but he was PERFECT and get this… NINE AND A HALF POUNDS. He was 21 in long and his head was 13.5 in. He was born exactly at 41 weeks. He is the most perfect, chubby, dark-haired baby we never knew we needed. And I am so grateful I got the amazing, healing experience I needed after my traumatic first birth.

Congratulations, Andrea, and thank you for sharing your story with us!

Megan’s HBA3C Birth Story

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Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

Megan shares her HBA3C birth story. Thank you for sharing your story for all to read!

William Tyler was born after 40 hours of labor at my midwife’s house. He was my first vaginal birth after three Cesareans!

On Wednesday the 6th, my husband had left town for work. I felt like I should tell him to stay but nothing was happening so he had to go. Then, of course, as the evening progressed, I kept having the occasional, strong contraction. I knew this baby was gonna come soon, so by 9 that night I made the decision to drive the two hours to Spokane and stay in a hotel for the night. I knew I didn’t want to be in active labor in the car. An hour into the drive, my contractions started coming 10 minutes apart and I was starting to vocalize a bit through them. (I am not the silent labor type, haha.)

I stopped by my midwife’s house to get a quick check before heading to the hotel. My blood pressure was still high (it had been for a few weeks but labs were clear and everything else was fine and it was stable) so I made sure to get my electrolyte drink to help control it. She sent me off with her peanut ball and after a quick stop at the store I made it to my hotel by midnight. With contractions 10 minutes apart all night I didn’t sleep. At 6 am on the 7th, little man’s due date, I got breakfast, took a shower, then left the hotel around 7:30. At this point I called my birth team to head to the midwife’s house. (My husband and birth photographer were 2 hours away while my doula was an hour away.)

I have to say that whole first day was pretty enjoyable. Contractions were between 6 and 10 minutes all day though they did increase in strength. My doula and photographer and husband made it a fun day. We were laughing and watching movies between contractions and having a good time. 

I found that the birth pool was my saving grace. When I got too tired or the contractions were coming too fast and strong and I needed a break, if I got in the pool they would space out so I could rest and even get little micro naps. By that evening my birth team needed to sleep so I labored throughout the night, laying down when I needed to. I don’t know how anyone slept through my yelling!

The morning of the 8th came and things were getting quite serious. (I was disappointed he didn’t come on his due date!) My husband got breakfast from Denny’s and it was a strawberry crepe. It was seriously the best thing I’ve ever eaten.

At 6:30 that morning I got my one and only check. I was 5-6 centimeters and felt like I had so long to go since I’d already been in labor so long already. My team assured me that that was great and I was doing great.

At this point I felt like my contractions were on top of each other and I was starting to lose a little control and panic at how much they hurt. I did a little crying and needed to get in the pool to gain control again and rest. After I got out, I decided next time I got in, I wouldn’t get out until the baby was born. 

For the next few hours or so I was having to bear down during contractions. I was excited cause it meant baby was coming down and would be born soon. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I knew I needed to get back in the pool. I was actively pushing during these contractions. I was starting to get scared at the force of my body and feeling like I couldn’t possibly do it, but also knowing I was way past the point of no return. In between one of those contractions I remember asking my husband if we had told anyone to feed our dogs.

My water broke during a contraction and immediately after I was taken over by the fetal ejection reflex. Let me tell you, I didn’t think it was possible for the body to handle that level of intensity and pain, and the sounds that came out of me were ones I didn’t know I could make. After several of these contractions, he started to crown. Ring of fire, baby! I held his head as it was born. Feeling his body wiggle and rotate while still inside me was such a strange feeling! I was kneeling while pushing but pulled up one leg after his head was born. One final contraction and his body slid out. I pulled him onto my chest then helped back into a sitting position. He cried right away. His back was covered in a thick layer of vernix so I sat there and rubbed it in while he cleared his lungs.

The placenta detached within minutes and the pressure was awful on my tailbone so I got out to deliver it. I sat on the birth stool and guided it out myself. It was such a relief! After I got settled in the bed and William was latching, I slept. I didn’t know I slept until they told me he had been born for 2 hours and I couldn’t believe it! We got a few pictures with the placenta and then my husband cut the cord so we could do measurements. 7 lbs 9 oz and 21 inches. Everyone was surprised at how big he was! (I had two previous IUGR babies)

Looking back I can say it was a beautiful, incredible journey. It wasn’t peaceful and calm. It was raw, and primal. And that’s ok. Because while birth looks different for everyone, it is still beautiful.

Jessica’s Induction VBAC Birth Story

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Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

Jessica shares her VBAC birth story. Thank you for sharing your story for all to read!

Blake’s birth story starts with Lexi’s. After a day and a half of intense induction with her I ended up having a cesarean. One I very much didn’t want. She has her own unique story, though. And I’m proud of all I went through to have her. 

Even before I got pregnant with Blake I knew if we had another baby I would be doing everything I could to avoid another cesarean. 

Through my pregnancy with him I stuck to my strict diet in hopes of having a smaller baby this time, I saw a chiropractor to make sure he was in a good position; unlike his sister, and I did exercises at home to do the same. I also kept my weight gain to just 20 pounds, rather than the 75 I gained with Lexi. 

This time around I was able to avoid bed rest for high blood pressure, which kept me even more active. However, by 39 weeks my BP was slowly creeping up again. Nothing dangerous, but we were watching it. 

I had an appointment with my midwife the day before Thanksgiving, and the day before my due date. The labs I did the previous week showed I had a little protein in my urine, but she wasn’t concerned because I had very little swelling, my BP at home while resting was perfect, and my blood tests came back great. 

We talked about how I didn’t want to go much further than 41 weeks and I asked about my induction options if the baby wasn’t there by the following weekend. My midwife said she would ask around to the other doctors. 

I was told to go to the hospital on the Saturday after Thanksgiving to have some repeat labs and a non stress test for the baby, and we went on our way. 

Cut to Thanksgiving. Nick, Lexi and I enjoyed one last family outing as 3. We saw The Good Dinosaur at Alamo DraftHouse and ate our lunch there. It was really the perfect day. I teared up as we were leaving the theater knowing soon we would be a family of 4. Little did I know how soon. 

We got home and were relaxing on the couch when my phone rang. It was the on-call midwife at the hospital. The on-call doctor had looked over my chart and was concerned about the protein in my urine from the previous week. They wanted me to come in for monitoring and labs. I was in shock. I was assured it would take less than an hour and it was ok to bring Lexi. So the 3 of us loaded up in the car and went to labor and delivery. 

Once at the hospital they took blood and hooked me up to monitors to check the baby. About an hour later the doctor came in and said I was still spilling protein and they were concerned it could get worse and we should induce that night. 

I was blindsided! We had Lexi with us and no family in town. I didn’t have a bag packed. I also knew my best chance at a VBAC was to go into labor on my own. I asked to go home and come back in the morning. I wanted to put Lexi to bed one last time and pack my own bag. 

After talking to the doctor and the on call midwife and our doula we decided it was best for me to stay and start a slow induction that night. 

Nick took Lexi home and we called my parents to come watch her. 

Around 10pm the on-call midwife, Ava, came in to start my induction. Because of the risk of uterine rupture we couldn’t use the same drugs we used with Lexi. Instead we used a cook catheter. They filled a balloon like catheter with water to manually dilate me. It was uncomfortable but not painful. They gave me a sleeping pill to help me relax and get some rest. 

After it was place Nick came back to the hospital because my parents had arrived from Chicago to watch Lexi. He brought me dinner. It was the last solid food I would eat for 24 hours. 

At 7:30am on Friday Ava woke me up to remove the catheter. It had gotten me to 4 centimeters, which was the goal. And I was having light contractions on my own! She gave me a huge hug and told me I was going to get my VBAC. 

The nurse then let me order some Jello and an Italian ice. Because I was a VBAC patient I was treated like I could be taken for surgery at any moment. It was very frustrating. I was so hungry and thirsty all day long. I snuck drinks of water whenever possible. 

At 9am my nurse, Kelsey started Pitocin. I had the drug with Lexi after I stalled out. It makes contractions very intense without a break in between. 

We started it very low, though, since I was having some on my own. 

At 10am our doula, Jessica, arrived. After that she and I walked the halls and sat on the exercise ball to get me progressing more. 

Over the next few hours they slowly increased the Pitocin and I alternated waking, bouncing and laying down using a peanut shaped exercise ball to help keep things moving. 

Around 2pm things suddenly got very intense! It was a very sudden change that I had trouble coping with. I asked to get into the bath tub, which helped so much with Lexi. 

Just before 3pm I got into the huge soaking tub in my room. I was expecting instant relief like I had during Lexi’s labor. Instead things got even more intense. I wasn’t getting a break in between contractions. They were coming one on top of each other. I felt like I couldn’t even catch my breath. On top of that the monitors around my belly kept sliding as I was trying to find a comfortable position so Kelsey had to keep trying to put them back on. Having someone constantly touching me and pulling at the monitors hurt my focus even more. 

After only 40 minutes in the tub I said I needed an epidural. It was not at all in my plan but I knew my body was very tense from the back to back contractions and I knew that would slow me down. Jessica tried to talk me out of it- like I had requested prior to labor- but I told her I knew I needed it. I was afraid of stalling for hours like I did with Lexi and knew I needed some way to relax. 

The anesthesiologist arrived about 20 minutes later and I requested a very light epidural so I could still move. Placing it was much easier than it was with Lexi, but it was still very uncomfortable. I hate the feeling of a needle in my back and with non stop contractions it was hard to hold still. I think I almost broke Nick’s hands holding him so tightly to keep from moving. 

The epidural was a walking epidural so while it took away about 80% of the pain I still felt pressure with every contraction and I had most of my movement. We spent the next few hours getting me into multiple different positions using the peanut ball. I was even able to get onto my hands and knees. Anything to move the baby lower and help me dilate. 

Around 6pm after our nurse kept having to fix the monitors on my belly we decided to break my water and put in some internal monitors. 

The new midwife, Megan, checked me when she broke my water and I was 7cm. She also noted that Blake’s head was “like a bowling ball.” She said he was very low and his head was still very round with no molding. She said it was a great sign for my VBAC because it meant he had plenty of room. 

With the internal monitors my stomach and back got a break from the bands that had been around them since about 2pm the previous day and we could really move me into different positions to get past the last 3cm. 

Around 8:30pm I felt different. I could feel intense pressure and suspected I was completely dilated but I tried to ride with it and let Blake get lower on his own. With in about 10 minutes my whole body was shaking. 

We called the on-call midwife, Theresa, at about 9pm to check me and she said I was complete! It was time to push! It brought me to tears to know my body had done it. Now I had a little more work to do to get Blake here. They turned down the epidural so I could have even more feeling and mobility. 

About 20 minutes into pushing Blake’s heart rate dropped very low and then shot way high. Theresa called the on-call doctor, Dr. Winter. I had been told before that he was the most VBAC friendly doctor in the practice so I was hopeful he would help me keep fighting since we were so close. 

Dr. Winter asked me to stop pushing and breathe through some contractions. That was so hard to do! I now had full feeling and they were intense. They gave me oxygen to try and help Blake. 

The room started filling with more and more people and they were all just watching the monitors and Blake’s heart rate. 

I kept my eyes closed tightly. I just kept telling myself it was going to be ok no matter what happened. If I needed a cesarean I could do it again but I just tried to stay positive. 

Jessica asked if we could try pushing again and Dr. Winter agreed it was worth a try. She grabbed a sheet and she and I played a sort of tug of war game with it. Using the leverage I got from pulling on the sheet helped a lot. And instantly Blake’s heart rate stabilized. He was ok. We could continue pushing!

Soon I could feel a change. Everyone kept saying they could see more and more of Blake’s head. Nick announced Dr. Winter was taking off his watch so we must be close. That made me laugh and gave me the energy to keep going. 

At 10:11pm, about an hour after I started pushing, I felt a pop and out came Blake’s head. He was already screaming before my next push delivered his shoulders! 

Instantly he was on my belly. The nurses worked to clean him up without ever taking him away. 

I couldn’t believe it! I had done it! I dreamed of this moment ever since Lexi’s birth and we had done it. I couldn’t stop laughing and crying. I was just so happy!

Nick gave me a hug and said “I told you it was going to work out.” He was right. He had faith the entire time even when I worried I wouldn’t be able to do it. 

Soon Blake wanted to nurse and latched on with ease, just like his big sister. 

With in a half hour our room was about empty. The nurses tucked him in on my chest and said they would come back in a few hours to weigh and measure him. We had uninterrupted bonding time. 

As the last nurses were leaving one asked if anyone had called the OR to tell them we weren’t coming. That’s when I realized how close we had come to needing a cesarean. If it weren’t for Dr. Winter, I would have been rushed to the operating room. He took time to let Blake recover and saw how effective my pushes were and let us continue. My midwife told me the next week that he told her it was the right call to give us time. He said Blake came out screaming and so responsive that he knew there wasn’t ever an issue. 

I am so thankful for doctors who believe in a woman’s right to options and those who trust our bodies to do what they are made to do. 

It was a lot of hard work and some scary moments but I am so happy with how things went. I knew instantly it was the right decision when Lexi came to visit the next day and was able to jump right in bed with Blake and me and I never had to worry about her hurting an incision on my stomach. 

This picture below shows all of the emotions that flooded out when Blake was born. I’m still so happy and proud we were able to have the birth we wanted.

Thank you, Jessica, for sharing your story!