International Cesarean Awareness Network

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Veronica’s HBAC Birth Story

November 3, 2020 by blog

Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

(HBAC 20 months after a planned cesarean for frank breech during peak of COVID shelter in place)

Labor started on Tuesday evening after very light contractions since the night before. Surges were 5-7 min apart but slowed overnight to every ten minutes. By Wednesday afternoon my labor shifted to be more “active labor” for another 26 hours. (It all felt active to me). I was in a multi day start and stop labor and I could tell baby wasn’t descending. It was a physical, mental, emotional rollercoaster.

My birth doula came on Tuesday night at midnight. (She was actually a backup doula because my main doula who I had been working with had had a fluke fever within the two weeks prior of birth for one night, so according to the rules with COVID precautions she wasn’t allowed at the birth). Our backup doula had to spend a lot of her time just helping with our toddler because we couldn’t have a specific person in our home for childcare due to COVID as well, and I wanted him at home for the birth and not with another family due to COVID precaution.

On Thursday am, we called the midwives (who we thought we were going to call either of the two nights before but didn’t because labor slowed back down so much.) They arrived at 8:20 am on Thursday April 9. I was given a bag of IV fluids to help me replenish since I’d been going for so long with labor.   The midwives determined that the baby’s head may be a bit posterior with the baby at an LOT position instead of LOA position. We needed to shift him. So while getting the IV, I used a peanut ball and did the exaggerated side lying pose on my right side to turn him. I could feel him moving and contractions were painful in that position but turns out it worked. I had two requested cervical checks that morning but I chose to not be told what my dilation was at either. I wanted to trust my body to know when it was ready to push without having outside guidance telling me and I didn’t want the additional mental challenge of knowing certain numbers of dilation and feeling defeated if they weren’t “high enough” or whatnot.

The marathon I had been running felt like such a mental and emotional challenge when I’d get up to 3-5 minute contractions consistently, thinking I was near the end, but then not…because it wouldn’t stay there. After such a long labor, I mentally wouldn’t be able to hear that I was “only” at a certain dilation. I also had the knowledge that those numbers don’t necessarily correspond to lengths of time to completion. Birth is not a linear process. (This is one of the main reasons I planned for a home birth with midwifery care. I knew my labor and birth wouldn’t be put on a timeline or be forced unnecessary interventions like what happens in the majority of maternal care policies and just the cultural norms.) The mental “mind fuck” of knowing the dilation numbers wasn’t a risk I wanted to take after an already very challenging 2 days of labor at home (physically and mentally).

I came to find out after the fact that at 8:30 am on Thursday I was around 4 cm dilated and sometime around noon I was 9/10 cm and by 2:30 pm I was spontaneously pushing. I remember right before pushing that I told my midwife I wanted to but I was afraid And I don’t think I can labor for ten more labors, and she just replied with “listen to your body.” She didn’t say yes, do it, no, don’t. I had to trust that it was ok and truly just listen in to myself and my power and move past the doubt that I was just in that same start/stop labor as before. Once I started, the midwives started moving much faster in the bedroom prepping all of the materials needed, as I literally was birthing probably in the most inconvenient spot in our bedroom, blocking being able to walk to and from in the room. I could feel him moving down and at some point they said they saw the head and I was able to touch it. I was on all fours with a birth ball, pulling on my husband’s arms, next to the birth tub which we only used a few times during the two day labor.

Baby was born 35 minutes later. It happened quickly and I had my husband held captive on the other side of the birth ball, pulling on him so he couldn’t catch the baby as planned. The student midwife (who was awesome) caught him and pulled him up under me as I sat back to pull him up. They helped us onto the edge of the bed as they were checking him. I birthed the placenta not long afterwards. Our first son was able to join us soon afterwards to meet his little brother.  

So, it was an extremely long labor which gave me a great opportunity for mental strength and a very short, spontaneous pushing phase which taught me full on personal power and trust. I should add, little man also surprised us with a nuchal hand (hand presenting alongside his head as he came out). I am so very grateful to my fantastic midwife team (Michelle Freund, LM and Christina Evans, student midwife) and my extremely loving and supportive husband. The long labor was hard on him too but he never gave up on me or us. He understood my desires for a spontaneous normal birth for my VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and he showed up for all aspects of the prenatal care and supportive role before, during and after labor. I am so proud of the team our family of four has become. I’m so grateful I was able to give birth to my son at home with a normal, spontaneous birth. I planned a homebirth way before COVID hit but I was even more grateful to have planned one when it did. Although it wasn’t without stress, I felt safer from interventions or policies that I didn’t agree with. I now have experience having a son by scheduled cesarean in a hospital with no labor, and a long labor, nuchal hand HBAC. Grateful for the blessings and lessons with each. 

Congratulations, Veronica, and thank you for sharing your story with us!

Filed Under: Birth Story, Doulas, Empowered Birth, HBAC, Midwife

Margaret’s VBAC Birth Story

October 27, 2020 by blog

Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

I want to share my story not because it’s flawless but because success looks like a lot of different things. This birth experience was empowering and healed a place of lingering doubt in my heart.

After 3 nights of prodromal labor that subsided by morning, on Friday June 26, I finally woke up to contractions that were still 8 min apart but not necessarily progressing.  I got an NST at my OB office to check all was well with baby and was encouraged that waiting was a perfect option. I went home to take a nap and within the hour could no long sleep through contractions. They came fast and hard, 5-8 min apart. I hopped in the shower and called my doula. 

Both she and my husband weren’t totally convinced I was in active labor so we decided to all get some dinner. In the time it took my husband to cook a frozen pizza and make me a smoothie, my contractions started jumping closer to 3 min apart and my Hypnobabies training kicked in and I KNEW it was time to go to the hospital. 

I was 6 cm and 100% effaced upon arrival to the hospital and was admitted. By midnight I was at 8 cm and set up for delivery. However my water just wouldn’t break so we labored all night with my doula and husband applying counter pressure to my hips and back. 

By morning I was 9 cm with a residual cervical lip. After another hour my water still had not broken and lip did not resolve. I was nervous to start intervening due to my history and previous birth, but my OB and incredible nurse took the time to explain with love and patience every procedure that would be done and the specific way they felt it would help me achieve my VBAC. 

After some emotional decision making, we broke my water to try to resolve the lip but it did not work. I was allowed to start pushing since the lip was so soft but her posterior position made me not feel an urge to push, instead my back labor got really intense and I was asking for the epidural.  Everyone encouraged me to push for a bit without it and see what happens. 

After an hour with no push urge, and severe back labor my OB suggested the epidural might actually resolve the lip that was still present and allow baby to turn into the correct position. After about an hour with the epidural, I was complete with no lip, my baby had turned completely around, and it was time to push again! At that point I KNEW this was going to be a VBAC and my whole care team was encouraging me – they could see her hair!

My OB told me her head likely molded to the posterior position so pushing could be more difficult. After 2 hours she just wasn’t getting around my public bone (come to find out later her feet were tangled in her cord and possibly holding her back just enough that her head molding combined just wasn’t letting her come down). 

My OB offered to let me keep pushing since she was doing fine or he could use forceps to guide her head. I decided on forceps because I just didn’t see the point of trying for a whole hour when I was fairly certain we’d be in the same spot. After showing us the forceps and explaining so patiently exactly what he would do and what would happen, he gently went in with the forceps, narrating the whole way, and 2 pushes later she was in my arms!! 

This birth was the most empowering thing I’ve ever done. I birthed my 8 pound baby surrounded by a team of nurses cheering for me, a husband actively involved in the process, and an OB with such wisdom and patience I’ll forever be grateful for. It was informed consent all the way through – every decision was mine and every choice we made was given to me as a person not a patient. This experience was everything I’ve ever wanted and more.

Congratulations, Margaret, and thank you for sharing your story with us!

Filed Under: Birth Story, Empowered Birth, VBAC

Jennifer’s CBAC Birth Story

October 20, 2020 by blog

Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Baby #2, I fought so hard for a VBAC. I hired a doula and switched care providers twice to find the support I needed—settling on an independent midwife for prenatal care and checking into triage to give birth with hospitalists.

Then, I delivered my precious Baby Boy #2 (aka Tank) via unplanned repeat Cesarean. However, because of the choices I made, I feel empowered and grateful.

I went into spontaneous labor New Year’s Day at 41 weeks, 3 days. I hadn’t had a “normal” labor experience with Baby #1, so this was my first time having regular contractions.

The birth stories I’d read reassured me all the sensations I felt were normal, and I settled in to labor at home as long as possible. I enjoyed being in the comfort of my own home, despite knowing I’d be delivering at the hospital.

In the afternoon, I noticed contractions were getting a little stronger (5-8 minutes apart and about 45 seconds long). Laying down wasn’t as comfortable anymore. I kept checking in with my midwife and doulas, who encouraged me to take a bath and rest as much as possible.

I was a little worried because it was New Year’s Day and my care team was scattered, but they assured me I’d have help when I needed it.

I had planned for an unmedicated labor and drew on all my strength from prenatal yoga to breathe through each contraction. (We opted not to take another birth class this time around, figuring I’d listen to my body and rely on our doulas. Not sure if I’d change that, in hindsight.)

My favorite position was kneeling draped over my yoga ball. Sitting and laying down were NOT my friends.

Around 7 PM, I was 5 cm dilated. My midwife said I could likely labor at home longer, but the frequency of contractions was worrying me. I was also experiencing a stabbing/burning sensation through my back with every contraction (back labor), and felt more comfortable heading in before things intensified.

I decided I would probably need an epidural. I’d wanted to avoid interventions, but I could tell I was tensing up and knew I needed to fully relax or I might inhibit my body’s ability to progress.

Afterwards, I was disappointed in myself for this choice. I wondered why my support team didn’t try to talk me out of the epidural. I’ve since learned that since I was talking calmly about the epidural BETWEEN contractions, they knew I was making an informed choice rather than an emotional one. That was a cool realization.

I had progressed to 7 cm by the time I arrived. I was happy I’d made it almost to transition. I still felt confident in my decision to get an epidural to relax and work with contractions. Not only was the back labor intense, but I was nervous about feeling the pushing part.

By early morning, I was 9 cm and 90% effaced! But I stayed there, and that’s where things started to slowly take a turn.

The biggest concern was the discovery of meconium in my fluid. Baby started having heart rate dips, so I received a low dose of pitocin and extra positioning to see if we could finish things up.

Baby wasn’t liking pitocin, and I started melting down, seeing some of the same signs from birth #1 that things might take a turn.

When the doctor on call realized there was only a small lip of cervix holding things up, I was told I could push. I was so sure they were about to call the surgery. However, I got the experience – terrifying and amazing- of trying to push out a baby.

I pushed on two separate tries. The on-call midwife coached me while I held my husband’s and doula’s hands. They even said I was doing a great job with it, despite being able to feel NOTHING thanks to the epidural. I’m proud of that.

Unfortunately, Baby’s head kept peeking out during pushes then disappearing again, and decelerations continued.

After 29 hours of labor, we made the decision for a C-section. By that time, I’d made my peace and realized my strength–I really had done it all. I’d been given every opportunity for success, but baby had other plans.

There was no pressure and everyone on staff was supportive and reassuring. I remember when things first started turning, as I lay there crying, the on-call midwife told me it was okay to be feeling emotional and reassured me that I had done well. She took the extra moment to honor all the baggage I had brought with me into that room, and I will never forget that.

The fact that everyone acknowledged baby’s safety was #1 while also allowing me every chance to succeed and honoring my feelings made all the difference in the world. I delivered my 10 lb. 5 oz. Tank a short time later. We still can’t believe he was that big!

Tank’s real name means “healer,” and he certainly healed my heart through this experience. I realized we don’t always get the birth we want; we get the birth we need.

Through birth, we learn that things don’t always go according to plan. We learn acceptance. We learn how strong we can be. We are humbled. And as long as we can look back and say, “I did everything in my power to stack the odds in my favor,” and “I was seen, heard, and respected,” we find peace at the end of our birth journeys.

Congratulations, Jennifer, and thank you for sharing your story with us!

Filed Under: Birth Story, CBAC, Cesarean, Empowered Birth, ICAN

Vijayalakshmi’s VBAC Birth Story

September 29, 2020 by blog

Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

Hi everyone, I’m Vijayalakshmi Durai Selvam.

It was my second delivery at Bloom. My first delivery was a C section at my native. Without any emergency, C section was done only because I crossed the due date. Also, we were not much aware of the delivery process. 

Now for the second baby, we thought to try normal delivery. Most of our relatives and friends said that since the first delivery was c-section it is impossible for normal delivery for the second one. We were confused to visit any hospital. By that time we came to know about Bloom through one of my colleagues. She had normal delivery after C section at Bloom. But still, we doubtfully visited Bloom for the first time. We met Dr. Kavitha Gautam and she understood our concern and motivated us that there is a chance for normal delivery since I have a 5 years gap after the first baby. 

We came to know about the classes conducted for pregnancy by Happy Mom and attended all the sessions conducted by Dr. Jayashree. We got a clear idea of what delivery is and the birth options during one of the classes. Till then we never realized normal and natural were two different types of delivery. After attending the classes we got confident that natural birth is possible after C section.  

After explaining all the birth options, Dr. Jayashree asked what type of delivery we opted for. Even my husband said that since it was C section we will be happy if it is a normal delivery. But still, Dr. Jayashree gave us full confidence and told that even Natural birth is possible. During the class, Dr. Jayashree prepared us both mentally and physically.

My due was on March 22nd, but there is no pain we went to the hospital for a checkup. They did a scan and CTG. The baby weight was 3.4kgs and CTG was normal. The doctor worried about the weight of the baby. Since the previous one was a C section. Hence, she told me to wait till next day afternoon otherwise she advised to admit on 23rd. Also, there was no pain. But we want to still wait for one more day having in mind that we could do a natural birth. On the second day of lockdown, 24th morning we again went to the hospital and took a scan. The baby weighed 3.7 kgs. The doctor told us to admit immediately but we told that we will be back at night. All of a sudden from evening baby initiated the process to combat and see the lockdown world. I was admitted to the hospital at 4:00 a.m the next day, 25th April.

The kid was too patient to come out who gave only 25% of the pain. Since the movements and heart rate of the fatal was normal the doctor gave us a deadline till 1:00 p.m as we requested her. Meanwhile, we started doing exercise with the heap of Dr. Jayashree. There was a better improvement in the progress. In the evening again Dr. Kavitha visited for an internal checkup and gave us time constraint till midnight. 

As advised by Dr. Jayashree we continued doing the suggested exercise and hard water bathing. In the meantime, the heartbeat of the fatal was monitored for every 15 minutes to make sure that the baby is safe. 

By 10 PM I got an immense pain and we thought that the time came to welcome the baby to the world, Yes I was taken to the labour room around 10:30 PM. Everyone expected that the baby will come within 2 hours since my sack broke around 10:45 PM. But the naughty kid made the process very slowly. I met Dr.Ramya for the first time that too in the labour room. She motivated and supported me until the end of delivery. Special thanks to you mam.  

Finally, the master decided to step-in to the word and came out at 4 am. With loads of joyful tears, we welcomed him. 

We would like to wholeheartedly thank Dr. Jayashree who was with us from the beginning till the end of delivery. Dr. Ramya for extending her full support during the labour. Dr. Kavitha for visiting us often, even at midnight, for respecting our decision, for giving us enough time for the natural birth and for monitoring the fatal’s condition till the end. All these happened during the lockdown is the unimaginable thing. 

I’m proud now to be an example of VBAC. It happened only because of the hope we had along with the coordination between the doctors, who had built a wonderful team. I still remember the positive words from the nurses, especially from sister Suganya. I am very thankful for my entire life to Dr.Jaishree and my hubby. Without their motivation and encouragement, this natural birth would have become only a dream to me after C section.

Congratulations, Vijayalakshmi, and thank you for sharing your story with us!

Filed Under: Birth Story, Empowered Birth, VBAC

Hilary’s Unassisted HBA2C Birth Story

September 22, 2020 by blog

Share your story with ICAN to be featured on our Instagram and Facebook! All cesarean and birth-after-cesarean stories are welcome: the difficult, the triumphant, the still-processing, and the stories which haven’t yet been shared. Sharing your birth story can be freeing, healing and profoundly powerful. It can bring others hope, comfort, and reassurance that they are not alone on their birth journey.

Submit your story HERE: https://airtable.com/shrJOtXla9O9MVBaj

Birth Story: The unassisted home birth of Aspen Juliet after 2 cesareans

Back story: My first baby was a csection due to being breech. I simply didn’t know any better. I didn’t know that a breech baby can be born vaginally, even though I am a nurse. I went in to labor, labored at home as much as possible, and then went to the hospital and told them she was breech so I had to have a csection.

My second pregnancy, I was set on having a VBAC. I switched providers to hospital midwives in hopes that these midwives would give me better care during birth. (Spoiler, they were actually “medwives.”) I induced labor myself because I was impatient. Labor started nicely and we headed to the hospital once I felt that the pain was getting to be too much. At the hospital I labored some and eventually started using the nitrous gas for pain relief When my water broke, the pain intensified greatly. I said I couldn’t do it and I either wanted IV pain meds or the epidural. The nurse told me that the CRNA was available now and right outside my door and who knows when she would be available again to do the epidural. I felt pressured and caved and got the epidural. As I was getting the epidural, my body was pushing involuntarily. Of course once I got the epidural they laid me on my back, which I told them I didn’t want. Soon after I got the epidural, the baby went into distress. After 2 hours of baby having late heart decelerations they came in and informed me of the decelerations. They basically said at this point that my options were A) a csection or B) a csection.

I was fully effaced and fully dilated and baby was at 3+ station. They said baby was too high. They wouldn’t even allow me to push. (Not to mention that shift change was soon, but they would never admit that that was why they pushed for the c-section).

During this second c-section, I had a uterine window that ruptured during surgery. The incision also tore 5cm down to the cervix during surgery. After the c-section, the doctor told me that I could never have a vaginal birth.

With my third pregnancy, I would not take no for answer. I would get my VBA2C even if it was the last thing that I did. When I found out I was pregnant, I called every birthing center in the region in search of someone who would take me as a patient. I consulted with an OB doctor at 8 weeks pregnant while searching for a midwife.

After an extensive search without much luck, I finally found a birth center that would take me. At 21 weeks the midwife, my husband, and I went in for an anatomy scan with her attending physician (the same physician that I saw when I was 8 weeks pregnant.). This doctor was very nice but said that he was not comfortable with me birthing outside of the hospital because of my uterine window that ruptured during surgery with my second c-section and the 5cm tear of the incision also from the second c-section.

At this point the midwife said that she could not allow me to birth at the birth center. She was willing to do co-care with the OB doctor, but I had no interest in paying her $5000 plus paying the doctor’s fee and the hospital fee. By the way, the baby could not have looked more perfect on the anatomy scan, and the placenta was in the fundus which was great!

After this appointment, I started my search over and began looking for any midwife in the area who would take me as their patient. I interviewed with a midwife pair and we planned to birth in a hotel DIRECTLY across the street from the hospital. They too had the same overseeing OB doctor and he wasn’t okay with that option either. So I ended up seeing this OB doctor until I was 32 weeks pregnant. Around 28-30 weeks along, I started feeling God working on my heart, pushing me towards having my baby at home. God was telling me that everything would be okay. He was telling me that I could have the birth that my soul needed. After years of research on birth and VBAC I realized that my best chance at achieving my healing VBA2C birth would be at home, away from doctors and hospitals and unnecessary protocols and arbitrary timelines.

So I decided on an unassisted homebirth. It was the best decision I could have made! I was getting so tired of hearing people tell me what THEY were going to LET ME do with MY body. I decided to take charge of my own birth! My husband took lots of convincing, however. We had several discussions and arguments about my choice to birth at home. He was afraid of the what-if scenarios. I understood his fear but I knew that my unassisted home birth was something that I needed to do. I told him that I was having the baby at home whether he was there or not. I told him I’d love to have him there but his presence was not required. He told me he wouldn’t let me do it alone. So, we spent a lot of time preparing and specifically educating my husband so that he would feel prepared and not be fearful or panic during the birth.

Birth story: The gender was a surprise! Baby spent the entire third trimester head down on the right side (ROA) with occasional changes to either transverse or head down on the left side (LOA) but would go right back to ROA with spinning babies exercises.

On Thursday 10/17 I was 40 weeks and 4 days. Surges started around 11am. They were few and far between and I didn’t really realize they were there until about 1:45pm. I watched the Spinning Babies parent’s class video and did the calf lift exercise from the video quickly before I had to head to my chiropractor appointment. At the appointment I realized that baby was now on the left side (LOA). I was so thankful as I knew I was in early labor! Surges continued from every 15 minutes to every 45 minutes for the rest of the day. I went for a walk to the park with my husband and my kids to encourage the surges, doing curb walking there and back. We put the kids to bed and I watched the spinning babies video again with my husband. We did some of the exercises from the video to encourage engagement and dilation. I then went to bed at around 10:15pm.

Friday 10/18, 40 weeks 5 days.

Surges continued throughout the night, interrupting sleep, about every 12 minutes. I had to concentrate and breathe through the surges while sleeping in between them. I got up at 4:55am since the surges were simply getting too uncomfortable to lie down through anymore.The surges were about 5-8 minutes apart, and though they varied in intensity, they were not too intense.

Around 7:15am, my husband and I went out for breakfast. I had to breathe through the surges but again, they weren’t terrible and I was fine between them.

When we got back home, I went to the bathroom at 8:48am and saw that I had lost my mucus plug and that it had a strand of bloody show. Things were happening and I was excited!

After losing my plug, the surges spaced out some so I went to lay down and rest for a bit. At about 10:30am surges were 6-8 minutes apart and started picking up in intensity. I was supposed to let the photographer know when surges were 3-5 minutes apart, so we weren’t there yet.

I wanted to make sure that I was doing everything I could to get baby to engage and dilate the cervix and do all the right maneuvers to have the perfect home birth. My husband found a link on the Spinning Babies website about doing a maneuver called the abdominal lift and tuck where you and a partner lift your abdomen up and inward with your hands while kind of tucking in your butt for 10 surges. I ate a chicken sandwich to recharge my energy, it was delicious, and then we did the abdominal lift and tucks for 11 surges since we kept missing some when I would go to the bathroom. I would go to the bathroom after each surge so that my bladder wouldn’t get in baby’s way. We started the abdominal lift and tucks at about noon. Those surges were getting pretty intense but all was still well between the surges, and they were still about 6 minutes apart. (I believe they were likely closer together than I realized since I wasn’t tracking the surges I was having in the bathroom because I had left my phone in the other room).

After that, I saw a video that in order to ensure that baby descends during labor, do lunges with your left leg lifted on a chair (if baby is in the LOA position) during surges So I did that for a couple more surges.

Then at 1:13 I lost some more plug. At 1:18 I had some very light leaking of translucent, odorless, pink-tinged fluid. There was a small trickle with the next surge. My water broke! I texted my photographer to come and had my husband start filling the birth tub.

While my husband was in the other room working on getting the pool filled, it became quite clear that This Was It! I was about to have my baby! I realized that I would not get the water birth that I wanted and I would not get this sweet labor or birth on video like I had longed for! But there wasn’t time for me to care about that. I was about to have my baby!

I was leaning into my husband and then got on the floor on my knees leaning over our ottoman. With each surge I SCREAMED and screamed and clawed at my husband’s arm as my body pushed and I pushed with it. Between the surges, I begged God to help me and had my husband give me cold water to drink and had him put the cold water on my face and neck. It was incredible to feel my baby coming down through the birth canal. As the baby was crowning I could feel all the tearing and pain. I reached down and felt with my hand. To me it did not feel like a head. It felt too slimy and squishy. I told my husband to look. He said he didn’t know what it was. I told him to tell me what it looked like. He said he thought it might be the cord. I told him to get me a mirror so I could look. He brought a mirror attached to a huge picture frame that would never work. I knew it wasn’t an arm or a leg. I thought then maybe it was the placenta. I told him to call 911. (We were both clearly too dumb to have him take a picture but that is neither here nor there haha). I never truly believed that what I was feeling was the placenta, since the placenta had been in the fundus the entire pregnancy and baby had been head down and engaged, but in the throes of labor I was not thinking clearly and I didn’t want to take any chances.

My husband called 911 as I continued to scream and push. Just then, the photographer showed up, and I yelled at her to come and tell me if it was the head or not.

Well of course, it was the head! She said “The head is out!” I kept pushing. The photographer told me to grab the baby but I told her I couldn’t grab the baby. I was working so hard to push baby out and holding myself up on the ottoman. I kept pushing and out came baby, head first and perfect!

The photographer actually caught the baby from behind me (which of course was not the plan but we improvised) and handed the baby to my husband. They then passed the baby up to me. I grabbed the baby and looked to see the gender. A girl!!! I couldn’t believe that I had just pushed out my baby and that she was a girl! It was AMAZING!!!

The ambulance showed up just after baby was born and checked us both out. She was absolutely perfect and I was a successful, victorious birth warrior! The placenta came about 10 to 15 minutes after she was born.

Aspen Juliet was born at 1:57pm, weighing about 10 lbs, 20 inches long, after about 35 minutes of pushing! We were so blessed to have a beautiful, healing, restorative, cleansing home vaginal birth and to have a completely healthy and perfect little squishy baby!

We did decide to go to the hospital to get checked out. I had some extensive tears that were bleeding and that needed to be stitched. We were going to go to the hospital anyway to get checked out in hopes that that would make getting a birth certificate and Social Security card easier for baby.

So we didn’t get the much anticipated water birth and we didn’t get the actual birth on film like I REALLY wanted, BUT I got to have my triumphant, healing, cleansing, restorative vaginal birth that I knew in my soul that I could have!

Congratulations, Hilary, and thank you for sharing your story with us!

Filed Under: Birth Story, Empowered Birth, HBAC, ICAN

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